The Thing (that is by no means a relationship)
by GraeLiars
Summary: Rose and Scorpius are NOT in a relationship. Yes they're friends. Yes, they spend a lot of time together. And yes, they (semi-frequently) sleep together. But that does NOT make it a relationship. They just have a…'thing'. Scorose series of one shots about the development of their non-relationship over time. There be fluff, smut, and language ahead folks.
1. Part 1 - Friends With Benefits

_Hey Lovelies! I have been inspired recently (probably because I have precisely a shit-tonne of other stuff I'm supposed to be doing) and have forced out this little ditty that had been floating around in the abyss that is unfinished Scorose pieces that are filling up my laptop. This is going to be a four-parter (I think) going through the different stages of Rose and Scorpius's relationship. Kinda the same as what the deal was with _Excuses _but a very different (hopefully funnier) take on it all. And more hanky panky ;)_

_On that note, this one's going to be a bit backwards in that the bulk of the smut (of what little there is) will be at the start and then it will move into fluff. So If smut isn't your thing that's fine, stick with it and you won't have as much to deal with. But there will be a little bit of smut. Sorrynotsorry :)_

_As always I apologise in advance for sporadic updating. I'm getting a bit better so should hopefully be able to write more, but we'll see how it all goes. Positivity is the key! This tory at least has an established framework and I've written bits of every part so hopefully it won't take me years (*cough* the birthday present, *cough*) to get it out to you._

_Forgive the title. I struggled mega time with what to call this one. It started as 'Accidents' then progressed to 'The Thing' and is now 'The Thing (that is by no means a relationship)'. It's long winded, I know, but as it develops I think it'll make more sense than just calling it 'The Thing'. Summary (and possibly title) also subject to change once more has been uploaded so I don't give too much away :)_

_As always, your reviews are treasured and keep me inspired, so feel free to let me know what you think. _

**_Disclaimer: _**_The characters are not of my own creation, the situations they find themselves in, however, are.__  
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><p><strong>Part 1: Friends with Benefits<strong>

Otherwise known as: The pleasant surprises of accidentally shagging your cousin's best mate

_"If there was a Sex Olympics, we would win gold."_

* * *

><p>The first time it happens is an accident. Honestly.<p>

Scorpius is helping her move into her new place after Albus had to cancel, having met some 'super-babe' who apparently wasn't very bright, because she was convinced when Albus told her he too was a 'super-babe' and therefore they should go an do 'super-babe stuff' which apparently consisted of a very respectable lunch at a very classy restaurant on Saturday afternoon. And the _only_ day they could do said super-babe stuff was the day that Albus had promised he would help Rose move in.

_How convenient._

So he had sent Scorpius in his place, which honestly hadn't bothered Rose – they were quite close, although, admittedly, since leaving Hogwarts five years ago they hadn't managed to catch up as frequently as they probably should have. Still, Scorpius had this way of being able to make conversation so easy that it was as if they had only seen each other yesterday. He was an incredibly laid back guy; rarely getting angry or raising his voice at all really. He smiled a lot and had this casual sort of innate elegance that made him always seem effortlessly dapper. That was probably why all the ladies seemed to love him. The fact that he looked like he belonged on Mount Olympus probably didn't hinder his ability 'to pull' either.

But that wasn't the point. The point was Rose found herself lugging boxes through her new house (because it was an _actual house _not just an apartment. She felt ridiculously grown up) followed by her grumbling, rather (_read:_ _very_) attractive companion.

"Remind me again why we have to do all of this _without magic_?" he said from behind her, carrying what appeared to be a box of kitchen appliances. She rolled her eyes even though he couldn't see her face and placed her own box of kitchen 'stuff' on a spare patch of bench space.

"Because," she stressed as she began to unpack glasses into a cupboard, "This is a muggle neighbourhood – I can't risk someone seeing me levitating all my shit into the house."

"Which then begs the question," Scorpius asked, placing his box down on another available patch of bench-top, leaning against it as he watched her unpack. Someone shouldn't be able to look so sexy just by leaning against a bench, "Why a muggle neighbourhood?"

"Because I love this house," she answered simply, completely missing the way her guest's gaze was focused squarely on her arse as she reached to place a glass on a higher shelf.

Scorpius nodded vaguely and managed to divert his gaze just as she smiled at him over her shoulder and threw the now empty box into the corner with other empty boxes. She turned to face him fully, still smiling as she wiped her hands on her (_tiny_) shorts.

"Break?" she asked.

He smiled and pushed himself off the bench-top, "Sounds great."

"Drink?"

"Even better."

It was probably a little bit sad that as soon as she had her fridge up and running the first, and _only_, thing to be placed inside was alcohol. Grandma Weasley would have a fit. She passed Scorpius a bottle of whatever was coldest and opened one for herself. She watched as he turned to look at the table, which had no chairs and was covered in boxes and random potion bottles. He raised an eyebrow at her over his shoulder (_Ok, that shouldn't be legal_). She cringed and bit her lip.

"I think we brought the couch in?"

Scorpius smiled and gestured towards the archway that led to the lounge room, insisting she went first. She smiled and obliged, walking into her slightly-less-chaotic-then-the-kitchen lounge room. Rose fell back onto the couch with a heavy sigh of relief, taking a large swig of her drink as she did. She didn't realize how much her bones and muscles ached until she stopped moving. She would be taking the world's longest shower after they were done. Scorpius paused half way between the kitchen and the couch, setting his drink down on a precariously balanced stack of boxes to free his hands and take off his shirt.

Great. Because she wasn't distracted enough already.

He walked over to the couch, drinking his beer as he did, not seeing her eyebrow raised in his direction. He let out a sigh of relief as he sat down and turned to say something to her before catching the look in her eye.

"What?" he asked, confused by the eyebrow.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked with a smile. Scorpius, for his part, feigned confusion very well.

"Was what necessary?"

"Getting shirtless."

"It's hot!"

"Oh yes, its so hot that you just could not bare to be in such a restricting article of clothing any longer right?" sarcasm dripped from her words as she smiled at him, "You're not at all trying to send a message to the neighbours."

(Rose had discovered that she had a group of very attractive young girls a few years younger than herself living across the road in a share-house. She had only discovered this once Scorpius had shown up and they had miraculously materialized in their front lawn, apparently remembering all the outdoor hobbies they needed to get done for the day.)

Scorpius looked sideways at her (another look that shouldn't be legal) and said before taking another large sip of his drink, "Oh like you can talk Miss 'Underwear-Masquerading-As-Shorts'."

Rose attempted to look convincingly affronted. She failed, "These _are _shorts."

One golden eyebrow shot up, "They're hot pants."

"They are not!" she tried to keep the laughter out of her voice but didn't succeed.

"Are too," he smirked at her sideways, "I saw cheek."

"When?"

"Only every time you bend over."

She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow at him reproachfully, a smile still making its way across her features, "You were looking?"

He shrugged defensively, "I _am _male."

"I can see," he looked sideways at her to see how she looked him up and down dramatically. He leant a little closer, a look of satisfied amusement spreading across is face.

"_You_ were looking?"

She raised an eyebrow and took a swig of her drink, purposefully not looking at him, "I _am _female."

Scorpius mirrored her actions, facing away from her to take a long drink, "Don't have to tell me."

"You are as horny as a school boy, Scorpius Malfoy."

"Oh you have no idea Rose Weasley."

And he smiled at her and she laughed at him and it was all completely innocent until…

BAM! Sex on the couch.

She really wasn't sure how it had happened.

Honestly.

One minute she was fully clothed, smiling at him and his gorgeous face, then he mentioned his pants being mighty _restricting _and _hot_ as well, and she said the same about her shorts and her shirt, and then she was very naked and so was he and she probably should have closed the curtains. Oh well. _Howdy neighbours, I haven't any shame! Get used to it!_

Rose had found herself very naked and very sticky as she slumped against Scorpius, still sitting on his lap. Despite being incredibly satiated, she couldn't fight the feeling of worry and guilt slipping into her mind. What would happen to their friendship now? Would Albus have a problem with this? What was _this_? What was she supposed to do _right now_? Was there an elegant, classy way to un-straddle someone? If there was, Rose didn't think she'd been informed. Also, considering the fact that she was pretty sure she had licked him at some stage during their little _tryst_, perhaps doing anything 'classy and elegantly' was a little too optimistic.

Just as she was starting to feel her level of panic threaten to outweigh the sort of happiness that only came after being tremendously satisfied, Scorpius let out a contented sigh.

"Wow," he said with a smile she couldn't see with her forehead resting against his shoulder, "We are _really _good at that."

Rose smiled against his collarbone before sitting back and smiling at him. This wasn't awkward. He wasn't being awkward. This was amazing. Not to mention he was right.

"We are, aren't we?" she felt herself beaming from both relief and just having had really phenomenal sex, "We are amazing!"

"Un-_fucking_-believable!" his smile was so broad and relaxed that she couldn't help but match it. It was as if they were talking about a Quidditch match and, for some reason, that didn't bother Rose in the slightest.

"Yeah!" she said in confirmation, "If there was a Sex Olympics, we would win gold."

"In the couch category."

"Pfft!" Rose rolled her eyes dramatically, "_Please_, we're clearly all-rounders."

Scorpius smirked at her and raised a playful eyebrow, his hands coming to rest on her ass.

"You mean couch _and _bed?"

"And bench-top."

"And desk?"

"And pool."

"Oh, water-sports as well?" his eyes shone with a child-like excitement that was kind of adorable.

"I told you – we're all-rounders," Rose was surprised at her ability to sound so ridiculously diplomatic when discussing sex, resting her elbow against the back of the couch, "That's soft surfaces, hard surfaces, water, the whole nine yards."

A devilish smile spread across his face that Rose was sure had probably broken many hearts. His eyes were lit with challenge and excitement, "Words are worthless, Weasley – I think we'll need hard evidence to prove it."

Rose looked towards her bedroom and bit her lip.

"I don't think we've unpacked my bed yet."

He let out a sigh before tilting his head to the side in a contemplative manner. A smile lit his face as he looked into the kitchen.

"There are some really comfy-looking bench-tops in the kitchen though," he whispered in her ear before kissing her ear lobe and Rose considered it a great feat of self-control that she didn't moan in response, "And, considering we're yet to _test the waters_ (his puns were terrible), I'm sure you have a shower that needs christening."

And damn that sounded like a great idea. Probably the best idea there had ever been in the history of the universe. But there were boxes to unpack, and honestly, if they did this again then it might get weird, and she didn't want things getting weird. She also didn't want him getting the entirely wrong impression that she was after any sort of relationship – relationships were tricky and Rose found people annoying to deal with for long periods of time. No, it was probably best that they just leave it here – one _fan-freaking-tastic _shag on her couch – and call it a day.

"Not so fast Mister," she pulled herself off him with some difficulty – if her legs hurt before they were about to fall off now, "You came round to help me unpack, and we haven't finished yet."

He opened his mouth to retort but she beat him to it, "And don't even think about making that dirty."

He laughed heartily and began reaching for his pants. When they were both dressed and looking somewhat normal again, he turned to face her with a smile.

"So, what else is there to unpack?"

* * *

><p>The next time they sleep together is about two months later. And that's an accident too.<p>

Rose decides to host a house-warming party once she has finally unpacked (most of) the boxes. If she's completely honest with herself, Rose knows that the only reason she's hosting this shindig is so that she has an excuse to invite Gideon, a ridiculously attractive brown-haired, stubble-chinned, 'I-was-born-to-be-a-Rock-Star' barista from the coffee shop she likes to frequent on her way to work each morning. She doesn't like coffee, much preferring tea, but there's something in the way that Gideon makes it (and possibly the way they flirt relentlessly with each other about what pattern he's going to draw in the milk today, which simply cannot be done with tea) that makes it taste oh so good. So after one or two not-really-dates, where they hang out during his lunch break or he comes and drops off a coffee at her work on his way home, Rose decides its high time he came to her house and they resolve all this unbridled sexual tension floating around.

So, 'booty-call-masquerading-as-house-warming-party' it is.

Things are going swimmingly – Albus has brought a ridiculous amount of Firewhiskey, Lily organized music, and James has brought several supplies from Uncle George's shop to make the inevitable drinking games 'more entertaining'. Scorpius arrives around 8 o'clock, a very attractive ebony-haired stick insect accompanying him. He introduces her to Rose as a '_hair style consultant and technician'_, Yvette. Seeing as Gideon chooses that moment to materialize beside her she introduces him as '_hot beverage engineer'_, Gideon (that earns her _a look _from Scorpius, although it seems to go right over the stick-insect's head, and Gideon remains silent also, too busy being polite to the dazed-looking invertebrate with poofy hair). They all make polite small talk for a while before Rose gets distracted by something exploding in the kitchen and excuses herself to deal with it. She doesn't speak to Scorpius or Yvette the rest of the night.

It's approximately 12:34am when things take a turn for the worse. Rose has James – because if you want anything said loudly James Potter is the man for the job – to announce that the party is officially wrapping up and that everyone should grab their coats and start heading home. She hasn't seen Gideon in at least an hour and wants to make sure none of her cousins (_read: James_) have convinced him to take part in a game of rigged exploding snap, or worse. She tries to make her way through the crowd, which is moving towards the door at the rate of a sleepy hippopotamus, but can't seem to locate him anywhere. She needs to find him soon, and possibly bend over and 'accidentally' slip him a look of her ridiculously sexy (and frighteningly uncomfortable) underwear she's wearing. Once he gets a look of her arse in these lacy things (that she thinks really shouldn't be called underwear as there really isn't a lot of 'wear' to them. A strap of lace doesn't really classify as clothing), he's sure to want to stay and sort out this overflowing sexual tension thing.

Just as Rose is making her way into the lounge room, Scorpius walks right into her, clearly more than a little buzzed on whatever concoction Albus has been handing out.

"Rosie!" he says with a wide smile and open arms, wrapping her up before she can protest, "Great house! Great party! This house is fun and the party was homey!"

She gets the feeling that he got those compliments mixed up, but considering how much she's had to drink too – just enough to lose inhibitions, not too much to be dancing on tables naked (it's a delicate balance) – she just wraps her arms around his waist and thanks him with a mumble into his chest.

He sets her down, his hands lingering a little too long on her hips considering they're friends and all. But then her hands probably linger a little too long on his chest considering she's designed this whole fiasco for the sole purpose of shagging Gideon.

Gideon! That's who she was looking for.

Rose removes her hands from Scorpius as he does the same from her, and he uses his additional foot or so of height to look around the people slowly making their way out of the party.

"Say, you haven't seen Yvette, have you?" he asks, eyes skimming over the crowd.

"No," Rose answers quietly, distracted in her search for Gideon, "Have you seen…"

She trails off when she sees it – Gideon, the dick, walking out her front door, his hand placed on the black-haired stick insect's ass as she murmurs something in his ear. There's something that shifts in the atmosphere that tells her that Scorpius has just seen it too.

They're both silent for the passing moments as the last of the partiers stumbled out into the night. The door closes behind the last stragglers, leaving Rose and Scorpius standing in silence, frowning at her front door as if it had to insulted them in the stupidest way possible.

Scorpius speaks first.

"Your _hot beverage engineer_ stole my date."

Rose lets out a most unattractive snort and crosses her arms.

"Please – your _hair stylist consultant and technician _stole my booty call."

"Booty call?" he raises as eyebrow at her as they aimlessly walk back towards the kitchen, "He looked like more than that."

Rose fills two glasses with water and doesn't even bother to try and keep the venom from her voice, "Evidently he was a lot less."

Scorpius hums in agreement still frowning at the night's events as she passes him a glass. There's a few moments of silence as they drink their water. Once again, Scorpius breaks it.

"Barista Bastard."

"Hair Dresser Cow."

They smile at each other in a '_we both just got screwed so that makes us buddies and fuck them all'_ kind of a way. Rose takes his glass from him and puts it in the sink, officially classifying the glasses (as well as all other dishes scattered around her house) as 'shit that can be dealt with tomorrow'. She moves aimlessly into the lounge room and Scorpius, just as aimlessly, follows her. He catches sight of the clock on the mantle as they enter.

"Fuck, how did it get so late?" he rubbed a hand over his face and let out a groan, "And I don't think I should apparate – that home brew was lethal."

Rose cringed and apologized weakly.

"I'd offer you the couch but…" Rose gestured to the couch that was currently covered in bottles and what she thought may be Lily. The mass beneath the bottles let out an unattractive snore and muttered something about needing to set fire to her brother's hair. Yep, definitely Lily. Scorpius smirked at Rose as he reclined against the wall.

"What state's your bed in?"

Rose raised her eyebrow and smirked back at him, reclining against the doorframe across from him.

"Occupied."

"By whom?" he challenges, and she can see the spark lighting up his eyes.

She remains stoic, "Me."

"Ah but were you not planning to share with Gideon?" he's all out smiling now and its doing things to her insides that she doesn't think are wholly due to the Firewhiskey.

"Yes…"

"And seeing now, as he has made an early exit," he takes a step towards her and tries (and fails) to look innocent, "One could assume that there is a vacancy. That needs to be _filled_."

It's a bad idea. Like if bad ideas were pizzas, this would be the double-cheese, extra bacon and hot sauce, added sausage pizza from hell. It would taste mighty delicious whilst you were eating it, but would result in some horrible and honestly painful bodily functions come tomorrow morning.

On the other hand, Rose had gone to all the trouble of wearing her sexiest matching pair of underwear (despite its tendency to ride up into all sorts of uncomfortable places), had already taken a potion for birth control, and had not just shaved but _waxed _everywhere necessary for entertaining a male companion. And a girl just did not go through all of that for another lonely night in her great big bed.

Really, it would be a waste of time and resources to _not_ sleep with anyone tonight.

(_Ok, that sounded sluttier then she anticipated_).

Rose stepped towards him and pointed a finger into his chest.

"One condition," she commanded, to which he simply raised an eyebrow and leant a little closer, "You are out of here by the time Lily's conscious."

"What's the matter Little Red?" his face was flushed from the alcohol and his pupils were dilated as his hair fell in his eyes. Basically, he looked like sex on a stick. Yep, this was happening, "Afraid of your cousin finding out you fancy the big, bad wolf?"

She had no idea why he was talking about fairytales at a time like this, but she wasn't going to say anything – her lady parts had associated his scent to the most phenomenal sex ever and wanted a repeat performance. _Now_.

"Not sure I agree with your nickname," she smirked and slowly started walking backwards towards where her bedroom was down the hall. He followed in an enticingly predatory manner, "Bad? Sure. But _big_? Hardly. Maybe you should be called 'The bad little puppy' instead?"

He scoffs and starts subtly untucking his shirt, "You didn't have any complaints last time."

She slips off her shoes and starts undoing the tie at the back of her dress, "Maybe I was being polite."

He makes quick work of the buttons on his shirt and moves onto his belt, "Or maybe you just don't remember how great we were."

"Hmmm…that's true," she turns and lets her dress fall off her frame and onto the floor of her hallway as she walks into her room, ass on display in her would-barely-pass-for-a-doily underwear, as she calls over her shoulder, "Care to remind me?"

She hears his pants hit the floor and door close behind him, "It would be my pleasure."

* * *

><p>The third time it is 100% Virginia Franklin's fault. It's not so much an accident as the result of a very, very unfunny and tasteless prank.<p>

It's Marina Merryweather's – a girl she shared her room with all through Hogwarts – hen's night. Being a muggle-born, Marina had relished the idea of taking the muggle tradition and spicing it up with some magic (courtesy of more than one or two of Uncle George's products). It had all been fun and games, shits and giggles.

Until some _bright spark_ – named Virginia Franklin – came up with the _hilarious _plan to slip a little bit (read: whole bottle) of an uncontrollable lust potion into Rose's Firewhiskey.

Right. Like the Firewhiskey wasn't doing enough damage to her libido as it was.

So, approximately 20 minutes after Virginia had hatched her 'brilliant scheme', Rose finds herself just about ready to proposition the stool she is trying desperately hard to balance on top of. The room is hazy and there are men _everywhere. _Literally. The room is full of them. In fact, their hen's night brigade are the only ladies in the whole place. Why? Because, to add to the hilarity, they were at an establishment that was for young wizards who fancied other young wizards, as opposed to witches.

Yep. Rose was horny as hell and stuck in a gay bar.

The stool really was growing more attractive by the second.

The girls had abandoned her in favour of the floating dance floor when it became evident that Rose was too strong-willed (_read: stubborn as a fucking mule_) to go gyrating against some entirely uninterested young shirtless gentleman on the dance-floor. Not that she was far from it – the heat within her body was getting almost painful to deal with.

Enter her knight in shining pants, Scorpius Malfoy.

Wait.

He is literally wearing shiny pants. _Shiny_ _silver pants_.

What the fuck was going on?

Merlin help her, she doesn't care – he still looks well and truly do-able.

His face is flushed – from alcohol or dancing or _other activities_? Oh she wishes it is alcohol; for some reason the possibility of him being gay is ridiculously devastating, when it really shouldn't be. Hell, she'll settle for bi, just as long as he was willing _right now_ she doesn't care what his preferences are.

He spots her as she gracelessly vaults off her stool in his general direction, her legs luckily catching her to save herself any more embarrassment. Although, given what she is about to do, she really shouldn't be bothered with embarrassment at this stage.

"Rose?" he smirks at her as he yells over the music, coming to stand much too close but nowhere near close enough, "What are you doing here?"

She really couldn't stop herself. She couldn't. It was that damn potion. She was _infected _with lust. She was beyond control.

Before he had a chance to think or respond, Rose throws her arms around his neck and smashes her lips into his. Really smashes. She thinks she felt their teeth meet messily. He lets out some kind of a startled gasp which allows her exactly the access she was about to demand, forcing her tongue into his mouth in a manner that she is sure was most unbecoming but honestly doesn't care about. She just needs him to touch her.

When his hand rests on her hip to stop them both falling over Rose lets out an incredibly embarrassing moan that there is no way he missed, even with the music blaring (that tended to be the case when you had your tongue battling wildly against someone else's). Scorpius smirks against her lips and for some reason that makes it even hotter. He strums his fingers along her hip and she god damn keens, rubbing her knee against his leg just to be able to touch him more. The bastard probably would have laughed at her had she not ensured his mouth was occupied. After a few more moments of bliss that manages to simultaneous quell the ache and make it worse, Scorpius holds Rose back at a safe-ish distance that she is not at all happy about.

"Rose," he looks disheveled and she really wants to jump him right then and there, "What's all this about?"

"We have to have sex!" she exclaims loudly, her hands making their way under his shirt completely without her permission, "Right now."

"In the middle of a bar?" he asks incredulously, but doesn't seem too upset about the suggestion.

"Yeesss!" she moans, both in answer to his question and because she's managed to smash herself against his body again. _Dear Lord it's glorious!_

He laughs at her then takes a sudden intake of breath when one of her sneaky fingers manages to graze one of his nipples. He grabs a hold of her wrists and keeps them steady, much to Rose's disappointment. She scowls and him and whines in complaint.

"Not that I'm against the idea of having sex with you," he starts but gets a little distracted by how she's licking her lips whilst looking at his, "What, precisely, is with the…_urgency_?"

"Virginia Franklin!" Rose exclaims, damn close to tears from just how wound up her body is right now, "She was sneaky, and she put _waaaaay _too much uncontrollable lust potion in my drink and now it's everywhere and Merlin help me Scorpius I _need _this, _I need you. Now. Please!_"

Scorpius eyebrows rose up his forehead in understanding as he kept hold of Rose's hands to make sure he kept a bit of distance between them. He seemed oddly conflicted given that Rose was right here, literally begging him for sex.

"I don't know Rose," he said, no hint of mocking or humor in his voice at all, "It kinda feels like taking advanatage…"

"You're not taking advantage!" she was actually going to cry if he didn't let her touch him again – _Virginia Franklin was going to wake up one day shoved down a well. This was fucking awful._ "You really aren't! I'm asking – _begging_ that you help me right now. You'll be doing me a favour."

"Oh well that sounds so much better," now he sounded oddly offended.

_WHY COULDN'T THEY BE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION WITH NO CLOTHES ON?!_

"Scorpius _please_," she implores, feeling sweat breaking out on her forehead. Scorpius seems to have some kind of internal battle and does a brief scan of the dance floor before finally making up his mind.

"Well, I guess I could give a friend a hand…"

"Yes!" she squeals and manages to maneuver out of his grip to throw her arms around his neck and rub her body against his. _Oh delicious friction,_ "Yes! Yes! Yes! Right now, let's go. _God _I need this!"

He lifts her up a little so he can walk them back towards the entranceway of the bar, her legs left to dangle freely as she continues kissing her way up and down his jaw.

"I'm not screwing you against the wall of a gay bar, Rose – we both deserve better than that."

That triggers something in her mind, "Why are you here anyway? You aren't gay are you? Coz I'm totally not against that its just that-"

"You should know – from first hand experience in fact – that I'm not."

"Then why are you here?"

"The guys come out to be wingmen for Tommy," Rose's hazy brain recognised the name; Tommy Braithshaw, a friend of Albus' and Scorpius' since Hogwarts. Rose had had her suspicions he might be that way inclined (the boy dressed better than half the girls in their year, herself included) but she'd never thought it proper to just come out and ask. More to the point it didn't make a lick of difference – Tommy was Tommy and he was lovely. End of story. Scorpius continued, "We all go out so he doesn't have to go by himself. Awkward as fuck but its bloody hilarious watching Albus trying to dance."

Had Rose not been about to internally combust from her hormones going batshit insane then she may have laughed. As it where she just wiggled against him again and moaned into his neck.

"Home. Now. Apparate."

Apparently formulating sentences was officially beyond her.

"You're in no position to apparate," he lets out a groan when Rose's leg accidentally brushes over his crotch, "And if you keep doing this then I won't be able to focus well enough."

"Then floo. Just _hurry_!"

"So bossy," he mumbled into her hair with a smile. It takes them a few minutes to convince the very burly man who may in fact be half troll that Scorpius hasn't drugged Rose and that she is consenting to going home with him. The troll-man finally lets them go when Rose insists that if he doesn't let them in the floo _right now_ then she's just going to have to have sex against the wall over there. He all but pushes the pair into the first available fireplace when she unzips her dress and makes a move to shimmy out of it.

They tumble into Scorpius' lounge room in a tangle of groaning limbs, Rose having somehow managed to wrap her legs around his waist at some point in time. She's actually panting now and fears that if this whole thing isn't resolved soon she's actually going to die from not having sex.

It'd be an awful way to go.

Scorpius attaches his mouth to her neck as his hands squeeze her arse and she moans embarrassingly loudly.

"Oh _God_ yes," Rose rolls her hips into his, causing him to stumble and trip over the coffee table, almost sending them ass backwards.

"Rosie," his voice is low and playful and does down right delicious things to her insides, "You best not do that again until we're horizontal."

She moves her lips to his ear and whispers with a smile, "Then you best get us horizontal."

Scorpius suddenly finds the strength and balance to get them into his room and on his bed in record timing. Rose flings off her clothing in perhaps the least sexy but fastest acrobatic display of her life (complete with a somersault in there somewhere), whilst Scorpius only manages to undo his pants, unbutton half his shirt and kick off his shoes before she drags him on top of her and demands they start getting down to business.

He settles beside her, kissing her softly as her hands run through his hair. She tries to get closer but he stops her when he slides his hand down the front of her undies and she damn well screams at the contact.

"Oh God!" she cries, hands gripping his shoulders and eyes closed tightly as his fingers begin to strum at her clit and her hips buck against him, "Oh God don't stop."

Scorpius is enjoying this in an entirely different way to Rose, finding the whole thing thoroughly amusing. Had Rose not been otherwise distracted she probably would have punched him. He freezes suddenly and Rose gasps loudly in distress.

"What's the magic word?" he teases, pulling his fingers just out of reach. Rose cracks an eye open to glare at him.

"If you don't make me come in the next two minutes I will castrate you with a blunt spork."

He laughs as he leans in to kiss her, "Got it in one."

It's an embarrassingly short amount of time before Rose is keening in delight and riding the waves of what was a truly phenomenal (and boarderline painful) orgasm. Seriously, we're talking less than 20 seconds here, and he only used his damn fingers.

She falls back into his abundance of pillows and lets out heavy breaths like she hasn't been able to flush her lungs in hours. Rose still whimpers now and then but can definitely tell that the effects of the potion have been mostly abated. Scorpius kisses her collarbone in a move that might be a bit too intimate considering the circumstances surrounding her being here in the first place, before lying back on the bed next to her.

"All better Rosie?" he asks, sounding a little out of breath but nowhere near as exhausted as Rose.

She can't manage words and only sighs happily in response. He smiles sideways at her and tries his damnedest to ignore the raging hard-on he's got after watching her come. He's seriously considering going to the bathroom and finishing himself off when Rose surprises him by throwing her leg over his waist and straddling him. His hands find their way to her hips without asking his permission, and he feels himself smiling up at the woman above him as she smiles down at him.

"Thanks," she says with a quick kiss to the right side of his jaw, "I owe you."

"I'm sure I'll think of a way for you to repay me," he feels her shifting as a sneaky smile settles over her features. Even in the very limited light he can tell it's a good sign of things to come (shameless pun for which he refuses to apologise). Rose kisses him slowly as her hips continue to shift down.

"I think I've already figured out payment," she disappears from his view but he can feel her hands (and _dear Merlin_ her tongue) working their way down his chest, down round his belly button, then down further still. She pauses as she non-too-gently pulls his briefs down his legs.

And hell-o! Scorpius Junior springs up happily, finally free and reporting for duty.

"Of course, if there's something else you'd prefer…" she lowers her head to his crotch and gets acquainted with Scorpius Junior.

_Sweet holy Merlin maybe some of that uncontrollable lust potion rubbed off on him because that felt incredible._

"No, what you're doing will be _just _fi- ah! -fine!"

Once Rose has thanked him (_thoroughly_) they fall asleep butt naked and kind of half-cuddling (how that happened neither of them know, so they just ignore it and pretend not to notice). Scorpius wakes up when Albus gets home round 3am, then gets out of bed to go to the loo and comes back to discover that Rose has woken and thinks that, to ensure all traces of the potion are gone, they should probably go another round. He can't help but agree. You know, to be safe. They're so responsible.

They fall asleep once more, this time proper cuddling with Rose resting her head on his chest while he strokes her hair.

Rose wakes up alone to the smell of coffee, crumpets, and sex in a bed that isn't her own. Once she remembers the events of last night (_Virginia Franklin is going to die a very painful and humiliating death…although it did mean she got to have sex with Scorpius so it wasn't a complete loss she supposed_) she smiles, pulls on her dress from last night and makes her way out to get some delicious breakfast into her hungover belly.

And it is then that she remembers why shagging Scorpius in the first place was probably a bad idea.

Because Albus, that's why.

She is reminded of this because she's currently staring at Albus where he sits opposite Scorpius at their breakfast table.

Fuck

Rose blushes brightly (_thanks Weasley genes_) and brushes her hair back, hoping to make it look slightly less like the sex-hair it was. Considering her hair was only about a half step away from sex hair on a daily basis she didn't like her chances. To his credit, Albus says nothing. He simply looks at Rose with a slight crease in his forehead and then to where is roommate and best friend sits reading a week-old copy of The Prophet at the dining table.

Rose suddenly doesn't feel much like crumpets. All she feels like is escaping this colossal cock-up as soon as possible. She pastes on a bright smile that is incredibly too fake and gives a small entirely forced wave to her cousin and Scorpius (who still looks half asleep and thus hasn't realized just how bad of a situation they've got themselves into here).

"Well, I'll be off!" Rose squeaks, knowing her voice is much too cheerful for this early in the morning. She is making things weird, she has to stop it being weird.

"See you cousin!"

That is not how to stop the weirdness.

"See you….friend."

_You're making it worse! FUCK!_

Rose runs from the room, slams the door behind her and apparates back to her apartment where she tries to think up a way to erase the past 20 minutes of her life.

Back at Scorpius and Albus' apartment, the two roommates sit in a companionable silence, the early morning radio playing softly behind them.

Albus pours himself a bowl of Coco Pops (with a dash of milk) and sits down opposite Scorpius, as he starts to casually eat his breakfast.

He doesn't look at his blonde-haired friend when he speaks, "You sleeping with Rose?"

"Yup."

"Is it serious?"

"Nope."

"Does she know that?"

"Yup."

"Righto."

They sit in silence while Albus finishes his first round of breakfast. As he stands to get himself his second round of breakfast (a crumpet with peanut butter, honey and banana – _don't knock it till you've tried it_) he makes a passing comment with completely no emotion behind it.

"If you break her heart, no one will ever find your body."

Scorpius nods as he sips his long black, "Roger that."

* * *

><p><em>And Episode One 'Friends with Benefits', is complete. Episode Two 'Lovers' to come. Stay tuned folks!<em>

_Reviews make me happy, and a happy Grae is a Grae that updates. Just something for you all to ponder ;)_

_Until next time (and afterwards as well I'm sure),_

_Grae xo_


	2. Part 2 - Lovers

_Well sweet holy jeebus guys, I did not expect that response. Sheesh! You Scorose shippers are well and truly out in force aren't you? Thanks for the love for part one (especially all you folks who favourited after just the first installment – I love your enthusiasm and faith!), and apologies for the delay with part two. Life etc. etc… This one here starts getting a bit more into the fluff but there's still some old-fashioned smut thrown in for good measure ;) Also, I hope the length of this one makes up for it's lateness – I actually had to cut a section out of this to put it in somewhere else coz this was turning into a fair monster. _

_Also, as a bit of forewarning, there is mention of a cousin fancying another cousin (not on Rose's side) – if this is likely to trigger anything please don't read. Also be advised that it's not explicit. Please see end notes for further details if you need it. _

_Anyways, as always your reviews and follows/favourites are loved and appreciated, not to mention down right inspiring. I'll shut up now and get on with the story shall I? Yeah, I shall._

_**Disclaimer: **__Anything held within that is recognizable from the marvelous works of J. K. Rowling are clearly not my own, I just like borrowing them and taking them out for a spin from time to time. _

* * *

><p><strong>Part 2: Lovers<strong>

Otherwise known as: when shit gets real (let's all pretend it just doesn't)

_"More of a...zebra print onesie."_

* * *

><p>"What about broomsticks?" Scorpius asks from where he's brushing his teeth in the ensuite, naked.<p>

"Are you being metaphorical or literal?" Rose calls from bed, also naked, but she is not going to get out of bed before 9am on a Saturday morning just to brush her teeth. No sir.

"Riterawl," he says around a mouthful of toothpaste, "Schex mid-arh un a boomschtick." He spits some of the frothing paste, "It would be awesome."

"It would be physically impossible."

"If there's any two people who could find a way," he gestures proudly between them with his toothbrush, "it would be us."

"I don't know, it sounds uncomfortable," all Rose can think is splinters in places that splinters should never, EVER be while Scoprius goes back to scrubbing his teeth meticulously_, _"How about we settle for sex in Quidditch robes?"

He contemplates for a moment and spits out his toothpaste before nodding, "You've got yourself a deal. Quidditch robe sex it is," he comes and crawls back into bed, "As long as we're allowed to use blatant Quidditch-related innuendo and flirting as well."

She shifts so she's sitting in his lap with a grin that would rival the Cheshire cat, "You mean I can tell you how much I love riding your broomstick."

"Precisely! And I can tell you to save your broom stick, ride me instead."

"Deal!"

They don't get out of bed before lunch. It's not until they're sitting out in the terrace of a small café near her house that she realizes Scorpius slept over. She can't remember when that started happening. It's slightly concerning

When he pulls her down a little cobblestone alleyway between shops to snog her senseless in the shadows she decides not to care.

* * *

><p>She bumps into him on the way to work and for reasons unknown there's something in the pit of her stomach that stirs at the sight of him. No, stir isn't the right word. 'Dances' is more appropriate. There's something deep in the pit of her stomach that starts twirling and leaping to its own little happy song as soon as she spies his mop of blonde hair across the street, and it begins to cartwheel when she sees him turn and see her, his face lighting up at the sight of her as a smile spreads across his face. He crosses the road quickly and she stops to meet him.<p>

"Rosie," he says happily and she doesn't even mind that insipid nickname she hasn't let people call her since she was eleven, "Fancy seeing you here!"

"Me? You're ambushing me on my way to work," she can't help but smile back at him, and surprises herself by not flinching when he embraces her in a loose, one-armed hug before kissing her chastely on the cheek. It's intimate – almost, dare she say, _coupley_ – but he looks so damn happy that she can't make herself feel worried about the action. Instead she lets him kiss her cheek and smiles back at him as he pulls back (she doesn't have to force herself to smile up at him). They fall in step beside each other and start discussing what they have planned for the day (work) and then what they plan to do for the evening, which somehow kind of ends up with them sort of making plans to have dinner together (she doesn't know how it happened but it did and she will need to eat and so will he so it seems only logical to do it together).

Conversation is pleasant and Rose is enjoying her walk to work for the first time in a long time. She stops suddenly at a familiar sight through the window of what used to be her favourite coffee shop that she now never attends. But this morning, for reasons unknown, she really, _really _feels like a hot drink. She takes hold of Scorpius' hand to stop him walking on past and tugs him towards the door of the café. He raises an eyebrow at her, before looking inside and spying someone familiar at the front counter.

"Is that your _hot beverage engineer?_" he asks delightedly, a conniving smile filling his features. She immediately knows that he's had the same thought she has.

"It is," she responds, reaching the front door with a smile that matches his own.

"What a pleasant coincidence," he says as he holds the door open for her (it's a charming, very _Scorpius-like _gesture, but she misses the warmth of his hand), "I believe I feel the need for a hot beverage!"

"As do I!" she exclaims happily as she walks through the door. Gideon looks up at her as she approaches the counter. He smiles at her from beneath a hat she's sure he thinks is fashionable (its not, and she knows its just hiding greasy hair), and winks as he finishes making someone's latte.

"Rose!" he calls happily, setting the finished drink on the counter as he comes to take her order, "I haven't seen you in the longest time! How have you been, love?"

She doesn't like how he calls her love. Which only makes what she's about to do all the sweeter.

"It has been a while, hasn't it!" she exclaims with enthusiasm, "Not since the house-warming right?"

His smile falters a little but not for too long.

"Yeah," he says, before plastering a dramatic pout across his lips, "I was beginning to think you'd found someone else. You know, to make your coffee."

Rose is sickened with herself for ever finding this kind of banter charming.

Scorpius could not have chosen a more perfect time to materialize at her side. She feels his body come up beside her, his arm wrapping around her waist in a way that looks and feels so natural she's sure everyone (Gideon included) thinks it happens regularly.

"Hey the hot beverage engineer!" Scorpius says loudly with a wide smile. He's a smartass and Rose kind of loves that, "How are you….Gordon?"

"_Gideon_," the _barista_ reiterates a little angrily and ignores the question. Rose doesn't miss how his gaze shifts to where Scorpius' hand rests on her hip. Excellent. This of course doesn't stop Gideon – who totally isn't pulling off that eyeliner as well as he thinks he is – from blatantly flirting with her.

"So, just a skinny latte with a shot of vanilla and three sugars, Rose love?" he looks her up and down with a smug kind of a smile as he moves to begin making the coffee, "And a picture on top of course."

Before Rose can say anything, Scorpius steps in.

"Coffee?" he looks slightly affronted, "Merlin no – not Rose! A large English breakfast, just a drop of cream and one sugar. And I'll have a long black, straight up. Both to go, thanks."

Gideon looks like he's about to make some dumbass comment about memorizing her order when Rose cuts him off. She looks up at Scorpius and places a hand on his chest to draw his gaze to her. The twist in her body allows him to pull her closer. She doesn't mind.

"You know how I like my tea?" she can't help but sound awed and it makes him beam a little brighter.

"Of course I do, Rosie," he shrugs as if it's the most obvious thing in the world. And it would have been incredibly sweet had he left it at that.

But they weren't aiming for sweet. They were here to be arrogant and flaunt their non-relationship in _the hot beverage engineer's_ face.

So Scorpius simply couldn't resist adding, "I make it for you every other morning, after all."

It takes every inch of self-control to not laugh out loud. Instead she just beams at him a little brighter.

There's a voice in the back of her head somewhere that murmurs quietly in it's sing-songy way "_This. This is why you lo…"_

The rather obnoxious sound of milk being steamed drowns out her own thoughts, for which she's happy because she's not sure she's able to hear the end of that sentence just yet. Or ever.

They collect their respectful hot beverages, Rose bids Gideon good-bye with a wave of her hand, Scorpius dismisses him with a '_Catchya Giddy_!', and they walk out hand in hand. He doesn't let go of her hand until they're at the front of her work. She doesn't stop him when he kisses her good-bye, this time on the lips. In public. Where _anyone _could see them. He doesn't stop her when she greets him the same way at dinner.

Neither of them say anything, but they both know things have changed.

* * *

><p>They're joint denial of the changing nature of their <em>non-relationship-thing<em> comes under pressure about two and a half months later in the form of a family-sized bomb.

They're reclining on the couch together, Scorpius leaning back against the arm rest and the back of the couch, Rose lying back against his chest, his legs framing her body. She's reading a book of some description and Scorpius is trying very hard to appear as if he's actually reading the Quidditch magazine he's holding in one hand. He glances down at Rose and finally works up the courage to talk to her about the event that he's been supposed to have invited her to three weeks ago. He clears his throat.

"My parents are having this dinner thing tonight."

There is absolutely no emotion in her voice when she responds, "Fascinating."

"Yeah. I'm really not looking forward to it," there's a beat of silence and Rose just knows what he's going to say before he actually voices it, "Wanna come with me?"

"To this event you yourself don't even want to go to?"

"Yup."

"Noooope." She pops the 'p' because for some reason that makes it seem more definitive.

"Please Rose," he takes her book away from her and starts meandering his hands over her shoulders and down her arms, "My sanity rests in your very lovely hands."

"Very lovely?" she asks over her shoulder with a smirk.

"Stunningly beautiful," he kisses her cheek before murmuring playfully, "And damn talented too."

Rose screws up her face, "I feel like talking about my talented hands when discussing dinner at your parents' place is just wrong."

He kisses her neck and his hands grasp hers, "I'll let you use them on me under the table…"

"_Scorpius!_!"

She feels him smirk against her skin, "I'll use _my _talented hands under the table?"

"So I can orgasm in front of your folks?" Rose snorts, rolls her eyes, and tries not to notice how damn good his lips feel when they do that _thing _to her neck, "Gee, that sounds as sexy as cutting Uncle Percy's toe nails with my teeth."

He groans in the non-sexy way (_which, lets be honest, still sounds a bit sexy when it comes from Scorpius_) "Ok, that's a visual I could have happily lived my life without."

She knows by the way he starts rubbing his pelvis against her and the way he's suckling at that spot that she _really likes _that he's after something. And the bastard is using sex as a way to get it.

Bloody Slytherin Git.

"Come on, Rosie…" his voice has dropped an octave. The bastard using his entire sex arsenal. She might not stand a chance.

"I don't know…" she pauses to moan when his hand slips under her shirt and trickles across her skin tantilisingly slowly, "Meeting your folks seems kind of…official?"

He hums in a negative kind of way as his tongue caresses her skin. His mouth moves up and he captures her earlobe between his lips to suck on it before biting softly. Rose gasps, her eyes closing, and her hand suddenly finds itself in his hair, tugging him closer. He just smirks against her skin, as his hand climbs higher, caressing her breasts over her bra while he rocks against her, his crotch rubbing against the crux of her ass.

_Dear Merlin help her, she's sinking._

"Come on Rose," his lips run lightly over her ear and next before he whispers so very softly and lowly that she thinks it really shouldn't be legal, "I'll give you free reign of my ties for a month."

"You ties?" even in the hot and bothered state she's in currently she knows that's a ridiculous offer, "And what am I supposed to do with your ties?"

He smirks against her skin as one of his hands slides down into the front of her shorts, outside of her undies, to grind the heal of his hand right where she wants it. She can't stop her hips from rolling against him at the unexpected pressure, just like she can't stop her eyes from fluttering closed and her hands digging further into his hair while the other grips the back of the couch as if it's the only thing that will keep her from floating to the ceiling in ecstasy.

"That's the point, love," he whispers again, each of his words punctuated by a knead of his hand, "_Any. Thing. You. Want._"

She cracks an eyelid to look at him over her shoulder and make sure he's not lying just to get what he wants (which she doesn't put past him – he was Slytherin House Captain after all, and that's not an honour you get from being, strictly speaking, _honest_).

"You mean…?"

"Yup," he kisses her chastely then sets about wiggling his fingers against her and she squeaks at the beautiful intensity of it all, "Tie me up and have your wicked way with me. Blindfold me. All of the above. Or let me do it to you. Absolutely anything, love."

There's a coil in her stomach that wraps itself tighter when he delves one finger under her underwear and inside her. She gasps and moans when he adds another and applies more force as he works her. He pumps his fingers in and out in unison to how his hips rock against her. Rose is just about over the edge when he pulls back slightly, his mouth against her ear once more.

"Come to dinner with me."

"Mmmm…" Coherent words are beyond her.

"Rosie…" his voice is teasing and his fingers are doing damn terrible things to her, "I promise it will be worth your while."

"I...I" he flicks his finger, just once, and sends her nerves into overdrive, "Ah!"

Then he stops. Ass.

"Well?"

_Curse him and his damn fingers to fiery hell! This was cruel and unusual punishment!_

She really doesn't want to, but right now she is completely under his control.

"Yes!" she growls, shifting her hips against his fingers to try to alleviate the delicious ache, "Fine I'll come to dinner with your stupid parents! Just please.._oh!_"

His hands begin their thrusting again, his hips continue to roll against her and he sucks on her neck hard and deliriously perfectly. The hand still under her shirt works its way under her bra and when he tweaks her nipple every nerve in Rose body cries out in unison at the beauty of it all. Her toes curl and her hands clench as she gasps loud and long, finally rolling over the edge and right into O-Town.

Sweet, sweet O-Town that she loves so much.

It's in the few blissful moments afterwards that Scorpius spends resting his head atop hers while he traces random patterns across his skin and she tries to catch her breath that she finally realizes what just happened.

"Did you just blackmail me into dinner with your parents using sex?" she sounds incredulous. Scorpius doesn't stop his gentle exploration of skin.

"Nooo," she can tell he's smiling by the tone in his voice, "I blackmailed you into dinner with my parents using a bloody great hand job."

"_Scorpius_."

"Now, now, you could have said no."

"That is all kinds of unfair. This is…it's...sexual exploitation!"

"I'm exploiting my own talents? No darling – that's called _capitalizing_."

"You're such a cad."

"Be as it may, I'm the cad that's taking you to dinner in two hours. Speaking of," he glances at the clock on the wall and nudges her, "You might want to start getting ready."

"Getting ready?" she raises an eyebrow at Scorpius as he slides out from behind her on the couch, a smirk lighting up his features. Rose falls back against the pillows and arm rest in a sated blob of exhaustion, "Exactly how fancy is this shindig?"

Scorpius shrugs, still with that shit-eating grin on his features, "Just your standard family dinner at the Manor."

Rose knows that he's withholding information. She looks down at her old tattered boxer shorts (which may have actually been Scorpius' originally. Whoops), and casual tank top she's currently sporting.

"Soooo can I wear this?"

The eyebrow shoots up over his shoulder, "Really Rose?"

She shrugs at her beloved shorts, "I'd wear this to a standard family dinner at The Burrow."

Scorpius shrugs and tries entirely too hard to sound nonchalant, "Maybe you should consider it more of a…_neat casual _type of affair."

"_Neat casual?_" Rose doesn't even know what that means.

"Yeah…" he trails off and refuses to look at her, "Or even, I don't know…semi-formal…"

"_Semi-formal?_" there's an edge to her tone that she doesn't bother to hide as she stands up from the couch (with effort because goddam even if he is a sneaky ass, the man has a talent), "Scorpius what exactly is going on tonight?"

"Rose!" Scorpius says with a smile and open arms, "Relax! It's nothing major – mother is just a bit of a traditionalist when it comes to these things. Yes – there will be candles. Yes – mother and father will be dressed in very smart robes. And yes – there will be more than one course. But trust me it's just a…dinner…_thing_."

Rose's arms have wrapped around his waist without her permission but she still scowls at him for good measure."

"A dinner thing?"

"A dinner thing," he nods with a wide smile, "That you might want to wear a dress to."

She sighs dramatically, "Why do I put up with you?"

Scorpius leans down close and rub his nose against hers (which he really shouldn't because whatever they are, Rose is pretty sure they're not the kind of people who should be rubbing noses but for some reason she doesn't stop and neither does he). "Because of my very talented hands."

She punches him in the stomach before going to take a much-needed shower.

* * *

><p>Rose decides as soon as entrees are served (because apparently when the Malfoy's have dinner it's a five-course event prepared by private chefs. <em>What tossers<em>) that she is going to kill Scorpius. She's going to do it with the tiny excuse for a fork she's trying to eat her tiny prawns with. But not before she chops off his manhood with the teeny tiny, highly decorative teaspoon that's sitting next to the immaculate gold-encrusted bowl in front of her. Because when he said his parents were having a '_dinner thing'_, what he actually meant with '_they've invited you over for an intimate evening of fine dining with the Greengrass clan because they're under the entirely wrong impression that you're my girlfriend_.'

What a dick.

The night was all kinds of disastrous. First of all, they were a solid 40 minutes late (because _someone _wouldn't let her shower by herself. _Ass_.), which meant that when they walked into the dining room (after walking through the foyer and western palour – _who the fuck has a palour, let alone one that needs a specific direction attached to it because apparently there's more than one?)_, all eyes of the approximately 8 people sitting at the overly extravagant table turned and faced them. Had Scorpius not been holding her hand (which he probably shouldn't have been because they probably weren't the kind of people who did that sort of thing) she may have actually fainted. But he was. So thankfully, she stayed upright.

Scorpius had greeted them with complete nonchalance and introduced her simply as '_Rose'_, although she could tell by the varying expressions – which ranged from mild disinterest to blatant hostility – that they knew exactly who she, and her family, was. Scorpius pulled her chair out for her, which totally didn't win him any bonus points because he sprung a freaking family event on her and there's no way shit like that is just being swept under the carpet because he acts like a gentleman. Her seat is two down from the head of the table between Scorpius and a man she is told is Horrace Finklestink.

Rose considers it a great show of character that she doesn't even snigger when she hears his name.

She may not have opened her mouth for fear of spewing hysterical giggling all over the poor old fool like particularly disgusting vomit, but she didn't laugh and that's what matters.

No one else introduced themselves, which she thought was a little rude, and Scorpius didn't get a chance to introduce her either thanks to his father, _The _Draco Malfoy.

"You're late," the eldest Malfoy had admonished from his spot at the head of the table, to Scorpius' right.

"Sorry, father," _Father? Seriously?_ "Lost track of time."

Scorpius didn't sound sorry in the slightest. Rose almost felt like she should apologise for him. But that would have entailed explaining that she had kept him preoccupied having sexy times in the shower.

Yeah, no. She wasn't saving his bacon this time.

"We set a specific time for a reason, Scorpius," he murmured darkly, eyes focused on his son and very pointedly not looking at Rose once, "We have all been kept waiting because you –"

"Oh Draco!" Astoria Malfoy, a strikingly beautiful women with upswept hair and a genuine smile scoffed at her husband, "They're here now – what's the matter with waiting a little while longer?" She didn't wait for a response before turning to Rose, full smile blooming across her features, "Rose, darling, we've been wanting to meet you for _so_ long now!"

Astoria Malfoy had dived into an enthusiastic rant of how _lovely _it was that Scorpius had _finally _found a girl to be _serious _with.

Rose nearly stabbed Scorpius in the leg with her tiny little fork. He merely smirked and drank wine from his goblet – _goblet! Who were these people?!_

The next twenty minutes is spent with the opposite half of the table trying to talk about Rose and Scorpius without them hearing (they fail), Astoria complimenting Rose's bone structure and asking how many children she envisages having (Rose _didn't _spit her drink out her nose. She just has red-wine coloured boogers, that's all), and Scorpius and Draco talk business quietly.

So now Rose finds herself staring at her entrée, mentally exhausted from being bombarded with questions about fertility (_'She's part Weasley, Astoria, I hardly doubt that will be a problem." "DRACO ABRAXAS! You apologise right this instant!"_) and more than ready to murder the man next to her while she tries to decipher which fucking fork to use. So Rose does the only thing that seems to make any sense.

She drinks wine.

She drinks _a lot_ of wine.

The Main course passes much quicker than the first. In fact it's gone in a flash.

Rose picks up names here and there. Horrace Finklestink is the husband of the woman seated next to him – Daphne Finklestink, who is Astoria's older sister. Sitting across from them are two people, one male, one female, who are about the same age as Scorpius and herself. The male one has some of the most maginificent facial hair she's ever seen in her life, with a sandy-coloured moustache that curls right up under his eye sockets. He looks perpetually bored and speaks with a substantially nasal tone. She thinks his name is Henric. The girl spends the entire evening giving Rose the stink-eye. She's got a dark brown bob and severe fringe, with a nose that's pointier than Rose's favourite pair of stillettos. She wonders if she's ever taken some poor bloke's eye out when she snogged him. Rose isn't quite sure what her name is, but she thinks people keep calling her 'Silly', which is, in Rose's opinion, astoundingly appropriate.

The last two guests – a man at the head of the table, and the woman to his left – are, she assumes, Mr. and Mrs. Greengrass, Scorpius' maternal grandparents. They seem nice-ish, but remain pretty quiet most of the night. She suspects its due in no small part to her presence which she is sure is making them uncomfortable.

And oh, what a pity, Rose is all out of fucks to give.

They all get up and have a walk around the grounds before dessert is served because apparently that's what one does at these sorts of things. Rose tries not to be bored shitless by the plants they all seem enthused by. She's helped in her quest by Scorpius who does as promised and doesn't keep his _very _talented hands to himself, taking every possible opportunity available to grope her ass or pull her into his side. It's nice. Rose thinks she could get used to this.

A House Elf appears (_Dear Merlin, her mother would have a fit!)_ and announces that dessert is ready. Rose runs – honest to god _sprints _– towards the house, ready to indulge in what she is sure is going to be some extremely decadent deliciousness that was probably crafted by angels.

She is disappointed beyond measure by what awaits them in the dining room.

Dessert is some kind of fruit platter and she can do nothing to hide the disappointed groan that escapes her mouth when it appears on the table.

"Our food not to your taste, _Rose_?" stiletto-nose asks harshly, stepping up to the table and picking up a tiny fork in a way Rose thinks she may be trying to make appear menacing. Rose might have been affronted had she consumed less wine. As it is, Rose just decides to be brutally honest.

"Nup," she says with a sigh, "I was hoping for chocolate."

She feels Scorpius appears beside her as the others stay outside a moment longer, admiring some apparently stunning orange plant _thing_ just near the entranceway, "You can have my share. I won't fight you for it."

"Probably wise," the girl spears a piece of pineapple with a tiny fork probably worth more than Rose's house and gives her a sneer, "I'm sure I'd beat you."

It is the worst display of trash-talking she has ever witnessed. She almost felt sorry for the girl. It was just embarrassing. One can't exactly be imposing when wielding a fork less damaging than her nose.

And then the wine makes her do something really embarrassing.

She snorted.

Right there, at the most fancy dinner she had ever attended in her life.

But, as previously mentioned, she was all out of fucks to give.

"Honey, don't be mistaken – I'm _letting _you have that fruit because it doesn't interest me at all," she raises a condescending eyebrow because _bitch started shit_, "But trust me, you're challenging a girl who grew up fighting for food from some of the most powerful wizards and witches in the world, world-class Quidditch stars, and a bratty little brother that can gnaw a leg off a chair. I don't fight fair, I'm not above hair-pulling or biting, and I'd have you calling mercy before your pretty little finger got near that fork if I was forced to. This isn't a battle and you haven't won. Now I've been more than accommodating all night what with ignoring the way you've been glaring at me like I stole your favourite toy, and for that you should be thankful because trust me sweetie, I've fought girls for a lot less. And I never, _ever _lose. Now go eat you're pineapple before I decide to duel just for the hell of it."

Silly Stiletto-nose is stunned into silence, obediently sitting and eating her pineapple without another look at Rose. Everyone rejoins them and they all sit and eat their thoroughly boring fruit.

Except Rose. Rose just keeps drinking the wine. (_Hey it's made from grapes – it counts!_)

Following dessert, the dinner guests retire to the _eastern _palour (_rooms with directions. Ridiculous_) for some kind of card game that doesn't include any explosions, insults, or violence of any nature, and therefore Rose has precisely no clue how to play. Scorpius, thankfully, saves the day by informing everyone he intends to take Rose on a tour, seeing as it is the first time she has visited the estate. Rose would be lying if she said she wasn't a little scared. In fact she was down right terrified – she, personally, had never had any nasty experiences with any of the Malfoys, but this was The Manor, old stomping ground for the big V himself. It was hardly the kind of place that one would consider 'welcoming'.

All of Rose's fears are abolished when Scorpius leads her right across the other side of the manor and into a reasonably-sized, immaculately decorated study. He deems it 'The Sanctuary' from all his horrid relatives, pulls a hidden bottle of Firewhiskey out from within a well-loved book on the third bookcase, and they take it in turns swigging from the bottle. Rose kicks off her shoes too – there is absolutely no reason to be a lady anymore.

About the time Rose is lying on the floor staring at the ceiling trying to decipher if it's a face or asscrask she can make out in the sculpted architecture, Scorpius, who lounges above her on the couch, his shoes also abandoned, breaks the silence in the most peculiar way.

"She want's to sleep with me."

Before she can stop herself, there's a rush of hot, swift jealousy that runs through Rose's veins and infects all of her organs. She isn't sure why, she shouldn't be She blinks blankly at the ceiling.

"Who?"

Scorpius waves in the vague direction of the doorway, "Her…whatsherface…out there."

Well that was not enlightening in the slightest. "Who?"

"You know! _Her_!" he clicked his fingers a few times before finally remembering with a very loud snap, "Sildy!"

"Stilletto nose?" Rose's face screwed up in disgust completely without her control.

She looks up to see his head appear over the edge of the couch, his forehead creased with confusion in a way that really shouldn't be as adorable is it is, "Stiletto nose?"

"Yeah, whatshername," now it's Rose's turn to snap her fingers until another apt way of describing the girl without the use of expletives comes to her mind, "bob-girl."

"Yeah!" a smile breaks across his face and he nods definitively, "Cildy! Her."

"She wants to sleep with you?"

"Yup."

There's a beat of silence while Rose tries to understand what that means.

"_But she's your cousin!_" she exclaims incredulously. Scorpius nods and takes another swig of Firewhiskey from where it sits on the floor near the couch.

"Yes I'm well aware."

Rose doesn't have the words to describe how horrified she's feeling right now. So instead she just splutters inelegantly and gapes like a fish, "But that's…that's…"

"Disgusting," Scorpius supplies with entirely too little disgust for Rose's liking – he's much too nonchalant about all this, "the word you're looking for is 'disgusting'."

"Why would someone want to have sex with their cousin?!"

"Haven't the foggiest, why don't you ask Druisilda?"

"Druisilda?" Rose sits up (too quickly – _oh man the head spin!_) to be eye-level with him where he lies on the couch, "Her name is _Druisilda_?"

"Yes."

"No."

"What?"

"That's not a real name."

"I'm afraid it is."

"No it's not," Rose crosses her arms and sticks her nose skyward with an air of superiority (maybe the _Malfoy-ness _of the manor was rubbing off on her?), "That's just a whole bunch of letters that someone put together and decided to _call _a name."

Scorpius smirks at her, "Isn't that technically what all names are?"

She lets out a groan and puts her head in her hands, "Merlin don't do the mind fuckery stuff with me now Scorpius, I've had too much wine."

"Sorry love." The bastard doesn't sound sorry. Like, _at all._ If she wasn't busy having another swig of Firewhiskey Rose would punch him. But not even punching Scorpius is reason enough to stop drinking this delicious nectar of the Gods.

Rose sets the bottle down and they sit in silence for a few moments while she tries to remember what she had been saying just moments before.

"What were we talking about?" she asks

"I'm not sure, it mustn't have been-"

"YOUR COUSIN! That's right! And how she wants to fuck you!" Rose screws up her nose and shakes her head, "My God that's wrong."

"Yes I know, I think we've covered this."

"It would be like me sleeping with-"

"Dear god don't finish that sentence."

"Albus or James," Scorpius watches as Rose's eyes widen to a dramatic (and hilarious) size as she realizes what she just said, "_OH GOD THAT'S DISGUSTING!"_

"Yes but you might want to keep your voice down – someone might hear-" Scorpius does his best to keep her calm and quiet.

He fails.

"_AGAINST THE LAWS OF NATURE!" _she's suddenly standing and pacing around the couch wildly.

"Darling, people will think I'm murdering you," he says with absolutely no conviction.

"_MY MIND HAS BEEN VIOLATED!" _she cries hysterically, collapsing onto the opposite end of the couch.

"Rose…"

"_I CAN'T UNTHINK THAT!" _she cries as she springs to her feet once more, her arms flailing wildly,_ "OH MERLIN'S LEFT TESTICLE WHAT A FESTERING-SACK OF TURD-GOBBLERS OF AN IDEA TO PLANT IN SOMEONE'S MIND!"_

"I didn't plant it."

"_SHE IS DERANGED!"_

He shrugs, _"_Probably."

"_SHE NEEDS PSYCHOLOGICAL INTERVENTION!"_

He takes a swig, "Most of my family do."

"_SHE IS SERIOUSLY FUCKED UP!"_

"Yes but she isn't deaf darling, so you might want to keep it down a bit."

Whether Rose actually hears what he says and acknowledges that she needs to keep her voice down, or she just loses energy and is overcome by alcohol he isn't sure, but Rose stops her tirade and collapses onto the couch again.

"…That's…" she pauses, staring off into space, "that's fucked up."

Scorpius nods vaguely, pulling her towards him, "I know."

"How did you find that out anyway?" she asks, raising an eyebrow but not resisting when he pulls her down so she's laying on top of him. He's comfortable like this. He could probably sleep like this right now.

"She cornered me at Christmas and propositioned me."

"You cousin propositioned you for sex at _Christmas_?!" Rose's eyebrows disappear into her hair as she stage-whispers at him.

"Yup."

The complete nonchalance with which he approaches this whole ordeal is unsettling and has her stunned for a moment.

"Well what did you say?" she finally manages to ask, unsure whether she should be confused or disgusted. Rose is also getting distracted by Scorpius' hands which have wandered quite a distance south of her waist and are now settled on her ass.

"Oh I said '_sounds good Druisilda darling, how bout a round on dad's desk?'_"

"WHAT?!"

"Well what do you think I said, Rose?!" the incredulous tone of his voice is a complete contrast to the way his hands start to massage her ass, "I turned her down – _forcefully_ – and then ran back into the main room and refused to leave mother's side the rest of the evening."

A smirk that resembles his far too closely creeps up her face (there's something deep within him that's preens proudly at the site – she's his girl), "You went crawling to mummy?"

He scoffs and raises an eyebrow at her. Had he been standing he would have put his hands on his hips (which, he realizes is a very Rose-like move. It makes sense though, she may be his girl, but he's also her man).

"Oh, and who would you run to if one of your cousins-" she cuts him off before he can finish.

"DON'T SAY IT!" She clamps both her hands over his mouth and he has to wait several moments before she seems sure that he won't finish the evil sentence of disgustingness.

"…Well?" Scorpius asks, getting a little distracted by the warmth under his hands. Well would you look at that, it seems he's gone and slipped his hands under her shirt. Whoops.

"Yeah…" Rose says, looking into the distance thoughtfully, "Mum would be my best bet."

"Precisely. Not that I need her to defend me anymore," he smiles brightly at her, "that's why I've got you here."

She snorts at him, "To fend off your horny cousin?"

"Yup. You're terrifying when you want to be."

"Only when I want to be?" that smirk slides up her cheek again as her hands start caressing the sides of his torso and its one of the sexiest goddam things he's ever seen in his life.

"Ok, almost always," he concedes as his fingers dance over the clasp of her bra, "She doesn't stand a chance against you."

"So I'm your bodyguard?" she looks too proud for it to be healthy. He forgives her because _goddam _that feels good.

"Pretty much."

"I feel so masculine."

"Let's be honest, you've always worn the pants in this relationship." His fingers run lightly up and down her back, causing him to smile when she arches against them and sucks in a breath. She's putty in his hands and they both know it.

"I never thought of our relationship as having pants," she gasps out, her hips shifting slightly against him in a way that is all kinds of distracting for both of them.

"No?"

"No."

"What did you imagine it as than?" Her hands sneak under his shirt and forgets how to breathe for a moment.

"More of a….zebra print onesie."

And just like that, the little bubble of sexual tension is broken by a great big rock of curiosity.

"_A zebra print onesie_?" He quirks his head to the side in a bird-like fashion, the surprise very clearly evident in his voice. His hands have stopped their caress and so have hers. All of a sudden they're just kinda sitting there cuddling, which is, funnily enough, just as nice as their not-so-innocent cuddling.

"Yeah," Rose shrugs with an easy smile, "Coz we're all kinds of wrong but oddly adorable all at once."

Scorpius considers this for a moment and nods slowly, recognizing how incredibly appropriate her choice is.

"A zebra print onesie," he agrees.

"A zebra print onesie," her smile is bright enough to burn him but Merlin help him he just wants more.

There's a moment of silence before Rose gets back to taking out Scorpius' cousin.

"I think I need to threaten her," Rose looks dreamily into the distance, "But be real subtle and graceful, you know? Cat like. Coz cat's are little conniving assholes and devious as fuck. Should I eyeball her? Stare her down across the room while I sharpen my knife?"

"What knife?"

"I don't know, but I could find one."

"I'm sure that won't be necessary love.," he rubs her thigh reassuringly, "Just make sure you don't leave my side so I'm never stranded with her, ok?"

"Ok," she smiles and leans down bring her face closer to his, "I'll protect you."

"Thank you, I am forever in your debt."

"You can make it up to me tonight," she winked at him and ran her hand down his shirt. _Well_, Scorpius thinks with a smile, _things just got interesting._

"How bout I start making it up to you right here?"

"_Here?"_ she sounds incredulous but the way she grasps his shirt suggests she not exactly opposed to the idea, "But what if someone walks in on us?"

He smiles at her and finds his eyes focused solely on her lips. _So close._

"Well we'll just hope its Druisilda, won't we?"

The atmosphere shifts and Rose lets out a noise that something between a scoff and dry-retching.

"Aaaand you officially just murdered my libido. Good work."

"I can revive it," he shifts her on top of him so certain areas – namely of the pelvic variety – are lined up, "Promise."

"Nope," she shakes her head and sits up, her hands resting on his chest. He covers them with his own and she doesn't find it adorable. _At all, _"It's gone, completely ka-put. You killed it dead with fire. Ain't no way it's coming back."

"Rooooose," he says with a smirk and a shift of his hips, "Surely my _very talented _hands could…"

"Ahem."

There's an indignant clearing of a throat and a very unsubtle cough from the doorway, and Rose's head whips up at a record pace, almost giving her whiplash in the process. There, in the doorway, is a very unamused-looking Draco Malfoy. There's a crease across his forehead and he looks like he's biting back some kind of snarky remark. Rose tries to think up some kind of explanation for what's happening here but somehow all her brain can come up with is the truth, and she doesn't feel like she's mentally prepared to break the news of creepy stiletto-nose to Mr. Draco Malfoy or admit that her lady parts are getting reacquainted with Scorpius' manly parts. Nope. Not prepared for that at all.

Scorpius, in comparison, just cranes his head back to see his father in the doorway and gives a smile that is much to cheeky to be helping the situation.

"Father," he says happily – he sounds drunk, "Fancy seeing you here."

"It is _my _study."

Scorpius brought them to his father's study to get drunk and cuddle? _Dick_.

"Yes but aren't you supposed to be entertaining your lovely in-laws?"

Rose picks up on the teasing glint in Scorpius' eyes and notices how Draco takes a deep breath and looks the perfect point between defensive and annoyed. He sniffs and turns his nose up a little.

"I see you found my good Firewhiskey."

"Which you wouldn't have noticed had you been entertaining like you should be."

Rose takes the opportunity to slide off Scorpius' lap and onto the floor. It's not dignified, and slide may not be as appropriate a term as 'fall', but she feels more comfortable in a crumpled heap on the floor than she does straddling Scorpius in front of his dad. Draco Malfoy raises an eyebrow in her direction and Rose suddenly feels very, very small.

"As graceful as your father I see, Miss. Weasley," Rose doesn't miss the hint of venom in his tone but she honestly can't fault him there – her dad is about as graceful as a lame gazelle trying to run in a pool of jelly. She intends to just shrug it off when Scorpius intervenes with more seriousness than she thought him capable of given how much Firewhiskey they've both had.

"If you're going to bring up bullshit about her family I'll not only dob you in to mum, but I'll call the entire family in here _right now _and you'll have to listen to Henric drone on about his moustache moustourising cream. _Again_."

Draco appears a bit put out by his son's sudden hostility and the passion with which he defended Rose (Rose herself is a bit shocked by it all. _And turned on. Which is sooooo inappropriate with his father in the room_), and seems downright scared by the idea of spending the evening with Henric.

"Blackmailing your own father, Scorpius," Draco pulls another very fine bottle of Ogden's from his desk and begins to pour himself a glass, "I thought you were supposed to be noble like your mother?"

"Nah!" Rose jumps in with a smile, "Blackmail's his favourite – how do you think he managed to get me here?"

It was probably the wrong thing to say. And Rose should enlist in some more fucks to give because she has a feeling she should probably be giving one right now. Oh well, something to ponder later.

Draco seems stunned and more than a little impressed by her honesty, "You didn't want to dine with us, Miss. Weasley?"

"Given the option, I probably would have chosen to clean all the bird shit out of the London Owl Post for a year than sit and have dinner here at the Manor, Mr. Malfoy. No offense."

"And how was that not intended to be offensive?"

"Oh it's nothing personal," she shrugged, not seeing the way Scorpius was watching her like he couldn't decide whether to kiss her or banish her from existence, "Your house creeps me out a bit though, and I don't get why your rooms have to be categorized by directions, and as a general rule, I like to spend most of my weekends without pants on, so getting dressed up for this shindig was kind of a big deal. Plus I don't think your son and I are even dating and now I'm meeting his folks – _and _extended family? It's all waaaay out of my comfort zone, especially for a Saturday. But Scorpius blackmailed me into it, and here I am!"

She gestured to the room around them as if everyone had forgotten them were at The Manor. Draco raised another eyebrow at her but she could see the ghost of a smile playing at his lips. He turned his gaze to Scorpius.

"Not dating?" he asks with amusement, "Your mother will be _so _disappointed."

Scorpius glares at him a bit before Rose speaks, "Not as disappointed as she'll be when she finds out you sneak off to your study whenever her family's around just so you don't have to speak to them. "

The Senior Malfoy's gaze darts back to hers and he can't stop the look of surprise spreading across his features. Rose just smirks at him (it's the Scorpius smirk, which means it's the Malfoy smirk, and it almost horrifies Draco to see it on the face of a Weasley). She speaks with that same smirk, "Astoria seems lovely, though – I'm sure no one here wants to disappoint her."

There's a tense moment between the three of them as they all assess the situation and each other. After a few painful moments, Mr. Draco Malfoy himself openly smiles at Miss. Rose Weasley and Mr. Scorpius Malfoy almost dies of shock.

"Nicely played, Miss. Weasley," he concedes, his attention now turning to his son, "She's picking up some of your talents I see."

Scorpius nods proudly and smiles brightly, "She's learnt from the best."

"Tell me Miss. Weasley," the eldest Malfoy walks around his desk towards an antique chess table in the centre of the room, "How's your chess game?"

The rest of the evening is spent with Rose versing Draco (she loses quickly), then Draco versing Scorpius (Scorpius loses a little less quickly), then Rose and Scorpius versing Draco (they never finished that game – the bickering is too much), before the clock chimes for 12 midnight and they decide it would be best if they headed home. Rose somehow ends up telling Astoria they'll be back for dinner next month, for sure, and agrees to a rematch with Draco. It should bother her, but by the time they get home and into bed, Scorpius is wrapped around her and they're both much too tired and drunk to discuss it. She plans to bring it up at breakfast the next day.

She doesn't.

* * *

><p>Scorpius watches Ruby Glastensow snatch the golden snitch after completely a faultless-dive and cheers happily. Rose is beside him, standing on her seat and screaming her praise as the Pride of Puddlemere anthem starts sounding throughout the stadium. Rose sings along tunelessly at the top of her lungs in Albus' general direction while her cousin simply sits with a sour look on his face and his arms crossed angrily.<p>

They're attending a Quidditch match with the lads and their partners. And Scoprius just bought Rose along so he wouldn't be the odd one out. Him and Rose aren't, like, actually _an item_, or anything. He just knew she shared his love for Puddlemere and didn't want to be the proverbial third wheel in this group date. That was all. Nothing more.

_TAKETHATSTUPIDLOOKOFFYOURFACEALBUS!_

Rose continues to sing at the top of her lungs as they make the slow trek towards the apparation points outside the stadium, and Rose being Rose, she somehow manages to find several other slightly intoxicated fans to join in with her. So poor Albus finds himself being followed by a group of rowdy Puddlemere United fans, arms linked as they march and sing with pride. Scorpius would feel sorry for him had he not also been one of the group. Albus swears at them and sends a sly bat-boogey hex over his shoulder at them but Scorpius deflects it easily – he's been mates with the guy too long to be caught out by such a careless retaliation.

Rose bids her fellow Puddlemere patriots farewell (Scorpius has to step in and forcefully remove one dark-haired gentleman who smiles greasily at Rose and whose hands trail a little low on her back when he hugs her goodbye) and the group of them (Albus and his on-again-off-again partner Abigail, Tommy and his new beau Lee, Asher Freeburn and his long-time girlfriend Zelda Skeeman, and Scorpius and Rose) make their way to The Leaky Cauldron for a drink or six.

Somewhere around the fifth-drink mark, Rose slides up to him, something devious and delicious flashing in her blue eyes.

"So I was thinking," she begins as she leans against the wall he's propped himself against. His arm reaches out and wraps around his waist completely without his brain's permission to do so, and pulls her in close.

"A dangerous phenomenon," he comments with a sly grin. She quirks her eyebrow at him but otherwise ignores the comment, leaning in close so she's whispering in his ear. His arm wraps around her tighter.

"Maybe tonight we could try out that idea…" she kisses his earlobe softly and he has to stop himself from groaning, "…With the Quidditch Robes."

Any blood still circulating in Scorpius' head suddenly takes a vacation to its favourite holiday destination – down south in the party planet that is his reproductive region. _Oh hey there penis, let's get this party started._

Rose can tell from the look in his eyes that he is _up _for the suggestion (he refuses to apologise for the pun) and begins to slowly make her way towards the exit. Scorpius goes to follow, then realizes that Albus is sitting at a table not six feet away from him and will probably wonder what he's getting up to. He thinks it only right to inform his friend that he won't be home this evening.

And also, maybe, perhaps, let him know that Rose and him have a….that is to say….maybe things aren't so _not serious _anymore.

Scorpius stands beside Albus, gaining his attention before saying quite unceremoniously, "I'm taking Rose home."

Albus doesn't seem phased in the slightest, "Ok."

"…I might not be back tonight."

"Ok."

"…I might not be home for a few days."

"Ok."

"…And this um…well…you know how I said this thing with Rose and I wasn't serious?"

"Yup."

"Yeah well…it might be a bit less not-serious now. Like, it might be, kinda serious."

Albus pauses for a moment to finish his drink but otherwise remains largely expressionless.

"I know."

Scorpius honest to god splutters.

"You know?"

"Yup."

"How?"

"You haven't slept in your own bed for the past month and she's wearing your shirt, mate. Give me some credit."

"Oh…so she is."

There's a silence between them that he isn't quite sure how to fill. _Your cousin's a great fuck_ doesn't seem appropriate, but _I think she is possibly the most beautiful witch I've ever encountered _seems even less so. Scorpius feels like he should be saying more though. He just can't think of what it is. Albus, bless his cotton socks, fills the silence.

"You serious about this?"

"Yup." The answer comes out without any kind of real thought.

"Is she?"

This one's a little harder to answer, "I think so."

"Make sure mate, coz I'm obligated to pick family over friends and I don't wanna have to kick you out of the apartment if it all turns to shit."

"Roger."

Well, that seemed a good place to leave it. Yes, Scorpius was content with the conversation now. He nods and turns to leave.

"Oh and Scorpius?"

Scorpius turns back to face his friend again, "Yeah?"

Albus smiles into his glass as he responds with a stupid shit-eating grin.

"Don't have a June wedding – we have too many birthdays in June."

"Fuck you."

"I'm taken, thank you. If you're that keen for a lay you'll have to go see your _girlfriend_."

It's meant as a passing comment, a light dig at the two least relationship-y people in existence being together, but there's something about the term that hits Scorpius hard. It leaves him breathless and sets off an unsettling warmth in the pit of his stomach.

He has a girlfriend.

His girlfriend is Rose.

Rose is his girlfriend.

He's not sure how he feels about all this. Maybe it wasn't such a great plan. Don't get him wrong, he likes spending time with Rose. A lot. And he likes waking up with Rose. And he likes going to sleep with Rose. And he likes Rose's house because it feels like Rose. And he misses Rose when he hasn't seen her in a while. And the best parts of his day always seem to involve Rose.

But _girlfriend?_ That just seems…so…

"You coming?" the familiar feminine voice belonging to the woman currently plaguing his thoughts calls out behind him. He turns and sees Rose Weasley, red uncontrollable hair curling out under her beanie, dressed in muggle jeans, well-loved brown knee-high boots, with her favourite ugly scarf wrapped around her neck wearing _his _shirt.

Scorpius is quite certain he's never seen anyone look so beautiful.

And it's with that thought that the seriousness of the situation hits him hard.

_Merlin's saggy right bollock._ _I fucking love Rose fucking Weasley._

It's horrifying, completely unexpected and totally overwhelming all at once. But then she smiles at him and holds out her hand, and Scorpius forgets to give a shit. He takes her hand, wraps her up in his cloak and apparates them to her house so he can take her to bed.

He loves her, and he has a feeling he's going to for quite a while.

* * *

><p>It just slipped out. She didn't mean to say it. She blamed tiredness and a stressful week and stupid Felicity Firethorn for making it impossible for her to do her job properly. Rose had owled Scorpius and told him how bad her day had been, how shit she felt, how long this week had been, and advised him that maybe it wasn't such a great idea for him to come over tonight because he'd only be caught in the crossfire. She may have shed a tear or two at that point too, because she was such an emotional fucking wreck.<p>

So Rose, so angry she was crying with fury, had got so far as to take off her pants (because it was fucking Friday and she absolutely refused to put on pants for the next two days), take her hair out of it's infuriating braid, throw some disposable things at her wall, wail loudly in the middle of the hallway, find a bottle of wine, drop bottle of wine, swear at bottle for having the sheer audacity to fall out of her hands and shatter at a time like this, realize there is no more wine, fall to the floor in tears beause there is no more wine. Rose is at the point when she's seriously considering getting a straw and just sucking up the wine from the floor (her floor isn't _that_ dirty. Like, she cleaned it just…last month…_FUCK!) _when there's a knock at her door_._

So help her, if it's someone who will judge her for her lack of pants she will kill them. _With fire._

Rose crawled through her kitchen and front lounge room to reach the front door, simply too exhausted and devastated to get to her feet. She holds onto the handle with all her might, sends a quick warning to Merlin that if this doorhandle breaks she will track down his magical, long-dead ass and tear him a new one so he better use all his magical power to make sure that doesn't happen, and pulls herself to standing. As she swings open the door, she briefly wonders what she is actually planning to say to whoever has decided they need to see her today or all days.

It's probably the fucking Grim Reaper. She wouldn't even fight him today; as long as wherever he was taking her had wine and no Felicity Firethorn she'd link arms and have him drag her away.

The door swings open to reveal Scorpius standing there still dressed in his robes from work, large brown bag in hand and small sympathetic smile on his face. At first she's angry – she specifically asked him _not _to come round today because she's a bloody wreck and she knows he doesn't deserve to have her yell at him if he uses the wrong fork to eat his noodles but she simply cannot guarantee that won't happen today. She doesn't want him to see her at her worst – she had taken specific precautions to ensure that didn't happen – and here he is still, with that same goofy smile, completely disregarding her request.

Next comes mortification – not about being pants-less (he's seen _much _more of her thn that so it really doesn't bother her) – because she knows he can tell she's been crying. She can feel the puffiness of her eyes, the way her breath is still catching in ugly sobs, the dry (and not so dry) boogies hanging out of her nose, the snail-trail of black mascara her tears have left down her cheeks – she knows she looks awful. And she doesn't want him to see her like this, doesn't want _anyone _to see her like this. This is the part of herself that is to remain hidden forever and always, and it's devastating to know that he's seen her being weak.

Her eyes well up and the boogies start their slow slide down out of their nosey home. Her bottom lip starts to tremble and she fears she can't keep it all in anymore.

"Oh, Rosie," his voice comes out softly and the smile turns from being sympathetic into pitying.

And that's what changes everything.

Rose Wealsey does not need anybody's pity. She's no longer embarrassed – she's furious.

"_I TOLD YOU NOT TO COME!" _she screams at him on the doorstep, not missing how some of her neighbours that just so happen to be taking their evening walk turn and look at the commotion. (They must make a fine sight for the muggles too – Scorpius in bright green robes, Rose without pants screaming at him. My, my, how _odd_ they'll say).

"I know," Scorpius steps past her and begins a leisurely stroll into the kitchen like he owns the place. _The nerve of the man!_

"_THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING HERE?!" _she stomps in after him after slamming the door shut. He gives a quick glance at the wine on the floor, sets down his large brown paper bag, flicks his wand at the mess to make it disappear (a spell no doubt found in the _101 Spells No Bachelor Can Live Without _book her mother had gotten for Albus when they'd moved in together), and goes about sifting through his bag.

"Because you need me here," he says it simply but in a way that bades no question. Rose splutters indignantly as he starts humming to himself.

"I don't _need _you here!" she screeches it, even stomps her foot for good measure. Then drags her sleeve under her nose to catch some of the runaway boogies. _Dear lord she's turning into Hugo. That's almost enough to make her start crying again._

"Yes you do," he says it without looking at her as he pulls out a punnet of strawberries and sets them on the counter before continuing to pull out various items from his bag, "And I wanted to be here with you, so here I am."

Rose begins to protest, but when he pulls out a very large bottle of her most favourite red wine and sets it on the counter she falters for a moment.

_What the devil is going on here_?

"I bought you some things," he says as he pulls out the biggest block of chocolate she has ever seen in her life (_Honeydukes you beautiful place!_), 10 chocolate frogs, a large tin of condensed milk, a packet of caramel popcorn, another bottle of wine, and what she is pretty sure is the newest series of some terribly trashy reality television series she always watches at Grandma and Grandpa Granger's place., "To cheer you up a bit. Thought we could have a quiet night in on the couch together."

Rose, for possibly the first time in her life, is stunned into silence. She looks at the array of her favourite things on the kitchen counter, at his warm smile and kind eyes, and took in just how great he looked in her kitchen. And that's when she did the really stupid thing.

"I love you," she said it simply, matter-of-factly, and without any flair or pazazz. She just…just…_said it_. And it's horrifying.

Her and Scorpius are friends with benefits. That was the unwritten, unspoken deal. They were each other's go-to for a quick shag. Fuck buddies! That's all. She was not, under any circumstances, supposed to tell him she loved him.

What made the whole thing momentously worse, was that it was actually true. She bloody loved him.

Oh Fuck.

She's about to apologise, about to say she doesn't mean it (_even though she really fucking does – oh cock!_), about to wish for forgiveness, and can they just pretend she never said that please? It's been a long week, she's talking garbage, and if he had just stayed away then this wouldn't have happened and they could have pretended it wasn't real and oh hell she's pretty sure she's going to start crying again.

Scorpius does something odd though. He simply pulls her into a hug, kisses her cheek and holds her tight.

"I love you too, Rose."

Five little words and not only is Rose speechless again, but she's had the wind completely knocked out of her. He loves her. _Scorpius Malfoy loves her_. He just told her so, right here in her kitchen. She wraps her arms around him tightly and tilts her head up so she can kiss him fair on the mouth.

After several moments of delicious kissing, something strikes Rose as peculiar.

"Wait," Rose pulled back and looked up at him with a raised eyebrow, "You don't seem surprised."

He shrugs, "Of course I'm not surprised."

"But _I'm _surprised," Rose is confused beyond measure and she's sure it shows on her face, "how come you're not?"

Scorpius does this little sly smirk that really infuriates her sometimes (_like now_) and kisses the corner of her mouth before whispering, "You talk in your sleep, love."

"What?"

"You, almost every night for the past two months, have told me exactly the same thing."

Rose splutters and struggles to process the information.

"I...I have?"

"Yup," he nods and pops the 'p' before resting his forehead against hers. She feels loved, she feels safe, she feels like she's _home_. Rose snuggles into his chest and smiles despite herself.

"And what do you say?" she whispers, hands rubbing up and down his back absentmindedly.

"Exactly what I said just now" he pulls back a bit so he can kiss the tip of her nose and smile at her "_I love you too Rose_."

* * *

><p><em>And we're done for part 2! Yay! I hope the cousin thing didn't freak anybody out too much. This is still designed to be a humour fic, not riddled with family issues and sexual abuseharassment stuff, I just thought of those kind of old-school Pureblood families as being similar to the super-wealthy back in the day that would marry cousins off to keep it the wealth in the family and stuff (_like Pride and Prejudice_ era type stuff). Anywho! Part 3 will no doubt take a bit to get finished (of all the parts it's the least constructed as yet) and will, at this point in time, be titled _Soulmates.

_Keep smiling lovelies! _


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